The Silent Reason People Think the Church Is Toxic

This ain't theory. This is lived pain.

2020 is the year a lot of stuff shut down.

Churches are one of them.

But even after the Churches opened back up, people still didn’t return.

Don’t get me wrong, people didn’t go to church for their reasons even before the pandemic.

Here are some theories on why and what people really think and feel about the house of God.

When you walk into a church, you’re not looking for just a seat, you’re looking for safety. You want somebody to see your brokenness and not flinch.

So When the Ushers look you up and down, or the Pastor or Evangelist skips your name during prayer (and you know it was done on purpose), that hits different. That ain’t just petty. That’s spiritual betrayal.

I actually had that happen to me on several occasions from different churches. I had the Usher look me up and down in a rude nasty way.

I had an Evangelist skip my name in a small church ( about 7 people) during prayer.

What did I do?

Ignore it. It was painful I admit, but I was determined to please God anyway, but it was painful.

You can forgive. Forgiveness is for your peace, not their validation. “If they never apologize, God still honors your release.

Sometimes Church folks be acting like middle managers at Satan’s temp agency.

God ain’t the Pastor or the Deacon who whispered about your outfit.

The enemy loves when we tie God’s identity to people’s foolishness.

If he can get you to distrust God by using people who represent God he wins!

God didn’t co-sing that mess, he wept with you! He knows who lied and he ain’t done issuing consequences.

Trust that!

People are mean. That’s a fact. And they judge. When you speak up, you’re the problem. You’ve seen more Grace in the line at D.M.V than in some church pews.

Sad but true.

The church sometimes teaches people to perform healing, not live it. You ever show up with real depression, a real addiction or real DOUBT and all you got was “Pray it away'“ and a fake smile? That’s spiritual gas lighting.

There should be a follow-up, or some kind of counseling afterwards.

Like my Pastor offers counseling.

Some churches told you what to wear (Even though Jesus told us to come as we are) who to date, what job to take but never ask how your soul is doing.

That ain’t discipleship.

That’s dictatorship with a Jesus bumper sticker.

God didn’t hurt you.

People did! And was wearing Choir robes and Title tags.

That’s why it stings so deep.

You thought Church was supposed to be your ER, instead it became your trauma center.

Don’t confuse God’s name with their nonsense. Don’t let a dirty sanctuary make you doubt a clean Savior.

He still sees you, loves you and wants you with or without the church folk co-sign.

You can heal from church hurt.

You can find spaces where faith is real and folks don’t fake holiness.

You can walk with God and call out bull crap in his name.

Say out loud what happened.

You're not dramatic or overly sensitive.

You’re holding truth.

“They ignored me.”

“They embarrassed me.”

Whatever it is when you name it, you take the first step toward taking your power back.

Bottom Line is you don’t have to walk back into a sanctuary tomorrow. But you do need a safe spiritual connection.

Start small. Find a friend who really prays. Find a home Bible group that don’t care if you wear jeans and ask hard questions.

Find the right church!

Not all Churches are the same.

How do you feel about the Church now?

Did I hit any pain-points?

Let’s chat about this